Get those cameras out of the closets and into the streets!
We’re here! We’re Queer! Get used to …. being told to stand or recline uncomfortably and be moved around a couple feet in every direction because the lighting is kinda tricky here and you have such a pale complexion I’d like to get some yellower light on you and warm you up a bit but it’s hard to do that without making Bob look unflatteringly bucolic and ruddy too, and he’s definitely urban rust-belt and guys just hold on a minute and let me relay your lapel, you’ve got it bunched up on your chest and, hold on honey, just hold try to tense your core and release like I showed you back at the apartment, I want your blood flowing but your limbs lithe, and try not to move your back, if the lapel’s not flat it’s not flat then it doesn’t glow that woolen glow that’s essential for the contrast between you to really come though, and crappolla!, the sun is a little too low for this to work, could you guys just hold on while I get some reflectors I think if I put Bob in the shadows from the setting sun in there with those I-beams and just get the reflectors set up to make you glow all over this could really be magical so just stay here, hold your arms and legs out so you don’t wrinkle the clothes or muss your hair and I’ll be right back getting those reflectors set up, get that shot and then if La Ferrara is still open pop over there for some those scrumptious millefoglies James is always on about. … .. You guys are beautiful, you’re dear, thank you so much, but I’m just not getting this to work at all and I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve been talking and trying to sort things out and it just never works and I feel so alone, and I love you, I really do, but we’re just not the same and I don’t have anyone else like me, and I know you guys understand, and that makes me glad, it really does, but alone that’s just not enough. Maybe I want too much. Maybe I’m a selfish fool to leave behind good people like you, but I think I’m ready to take that wild gamble and move on. I’ve had enough of this Nikon life, I’m shooting Canon now! No more gaffer tape on the logos! No more painting my lenses black! I’m going to shine, like an 400mm f/2.8L in the sun, bright, white and proud! This tripod is my Mount Tabor! BEHOLD!
.
.