[staplermofo]

…so why was he so worried about things?
…Everything else is mental shenanigans.

Be honest, how many of the photographers you know could shoot 20 rolls of film over 2 hours, toss them undeveloped into a bag, mail them to their employer and not mentally go through the undeveloped film’s journey in their minds?

Example:
*shortly after dropping film off at post office*
I should have typed the address larger and I should have put tape over it. My printer smudges, I’m sure of it. It’s just like that scene in Misery. That’s what’s going to happen to me. The film will be lost, the article will flop, the magazine will go under and the editor is going to come after me. Oh god, I’ll have no proof of the smudge. She’ll put a block between my ankles AND SMASH MY FEET!
*6 hours later*
Ok, it’s probably at the sorting center by now… god it’s hot… and humid… oh god what it’s still in the sheet metal van. God those things get hot. Christ, what if someone shipped a box of hydrofluoric acid? People must ship acid. They have to ship that in plastic, plastic is weak in heat. OH GOD MY FILM IS UNDER THE ACID! YOU HAVE TO HELP IT!
*6 hours later*
I bet they’re developing it now. I usually have Bob develop my film. He’s a good guy, nice and stable. You can count on Bob. They’re probably developing it near their office. There’s an art school near there. He’s probably used to college kids. Maybe he is a college kid too. I was a wreck in college, and the art students were so moody. I had a huge crush on Betty, I bet she broke some hearts. Oh god, what if Betty broke his heart? He can’t concentrate on film, he’s lovesick. I bet he left it in the developer while he kills himself. Relax, that’s just one roll. 19 more. Wait, no. OH GOD THEY’LL TURN ON THE LIGHTS WHEN THEY FIND THE BODY! ALL OF MY FILM WILL BE OVEREXPOSED!!
*6 hours later*
I bet they’re working on layout now. I hope they get what I was doing with the framing. They’ll probably try to play up swim fashion for this surf shoot. Becky wears crazy hats, I bet she gets this layout job. Becky likes to do those weird crops. I hope she doesn’t crop too close on someone’s butt. Oh god, she’s going to make it look like Penthouse. They trusted me, I should have told them I needed to run it by the subjects. They’re going to be livid. I’ll never get work again. Everyone will think I’m some pervert. It’ll be so public. I’ll never work again. I have to change my name. Can I live in Thailand? I could never learn Thai, the alphabet is too squiggly. Who doesn’t extradite to America? Cuba? Could I live in Cuba? No, they’d torture me, I’m sure of it. OH GOD, I HAVE TO END IT NOW BEFORE THEY TEAR OUT MY PHALANGES THROUGH MY SKIN!

And so on.

[staplermofo]

So you’re saying we’re the new Garrison Keillor,.. I don’t want to live anymore.

Only as far as trying to tell a story in a single photograph!
Besides, you’re more a This American Life or… *defeated sigh*

Leave me your camera stuff in your will and I’ll tell your friends and family a good story about why you killed yourself.

[staplermofo]

If you are a commercial photographer and you can’t compose and expose properly out of a studio, on film, then the problem isn’t the film: It’s you.

Also wik: How is a phone with a microscopic sensor and minuscule lens superior to a point and shoot digital (since film frightens you so)?

Clearly someone doesn’t have a crippling anxiety disorder.
The guy is clearly a competent photographer, it’s too competitive to last 25 years without skill to back it up. All the world’s xanax couldn’t calm me down if I sent off undeveloped rolls of film that my job depended on, and would next see them in a magazine. That’s understandable in my book.

And he explains how the phone camera is superior, in great detail, with the Leica comparison. Which is really funny, when you think about it, since they both use the popular video resolution (35mm then, 2mp now). Maybe in 100 years Apple will be the one making preposterously expensive fetish cameras.

[staplermofo]

As the presentations of media change, the audience should change how they take it in too.
Photographs aren’t presented individually when they’re telling stories now. It’s a lot easier to present a group of photographs now, and it’s a lot easier to find other photographers’ photos and display them with your own.
There are thousands of people who can take gorgeous photos with personal or social significance, and the best 1% would be more than someone could appreciate appropriately in a lifetime.

So, I think that means the most dramatic way to bridge the art and the public’s appreciation is through galleries and attention whoring.
Think of the last time someone who isn’t learning photography was really struck by it. I bet it was from someone other than the photographer being a middleman. Tumblr, flickr or Google+ probably.

Taking good photos is covered. The adventurous genius has moved on where genius is more needed.
It’s like lamenting the loss of the radio drama. Radio is going strong, drama is going strong, but radio isn’t the best medium for drama anymore, and voice acting has suffered for it.

[staplermofo]

Good luck.
If you get lucky now, I want the expanded shot info to look like this:
location: Gila Bend Mountains
shutter 1/4000s
ISO: 3200
camera: Rebel XSi
telescope: Celestron NexStar 8SE
luck: staplermofo’s wish

[staplermofo]

So very +1.
Hilarious radio clip with two smart guys trying desperately to justify even keeping super ugly buildings.

[staplermofo]

+1

[staplermofo]

Even cheaper macro equipment.
And it works with the iphone 4s, what the really professional photographers use instead of the more pro-sumer ipad.
Sorry ennuipoet, couldn’t resist.

[staplermofo]

If you use a ruler touching the front of the lens you can keep your hands off everything but the shutter, and get more of the info you want in the shot itself. (like the new focus distance)

I had always called these close up filters, to save myself the clarification quote marks.

[staplermofo]

I have a friend with hypomania who got prescribed adderall. If you don’t know what that means, imagine the most energetic person you know on amphetamines.
He’s shown me a lot about life, but what stands out the most is how much enthusiasm matters. My friend will notice that model airplanes exist and 2 hours later explain to anyone who won’t run away why they are the most awesome thing in the world. You would be absolutely amazed how many people won’t run away. There’s a childlike joy in it which assumes everyone would want to hear this because it’s so awesome.
I don’t like being a talking textbook. Problem solving is ok. Helping is enjoyable.
My friend enjoys being all three equally, maybe they’re all the same to him.
People probably pick up on that. If I saw all of it as helping people, and enjoyed it, and felt I was making the world a better place, some of that would rub off on the person I was talking to.

One thing I really enjoy that I mention a lot, that I’ve honestly never found another person outside of forums dedicated to it, is the hilarious struggles of minor Japanese idol groups. For example: one company, Up Front Works, created a group called “Up Front Girls” and put them on the indie circuit. They were recruited from girls who were in their idol farm league H!P Eggs, but got too old. UFW was displeased with them shortly thereafter. So they kicked them out of Hello! Project (which is all UFW is known for). They even added “???” [roughly: subject to change] to their names, and OUTFITS, changed their name to Up Up Girls???, then kicked them off their indies label, cut the budget for their music videos, and cut their budget for everything. Even the low level groups UFW support barely make a living. So they’re around 20 years old, have been doing concerts and such for around 5 years on average, and are washed up and still brand new. Some of their songs are pretty catchy, if you like up-beat pop. HOW COULD ANYONE NOT THINK THAT’S AWESOME!? Oh, everyone agrees it’s not awesome? I STILL FEEL BETTER MENTIONING IT AGAIN! … … But the joy of that just waned, and now I’m depressed and just disproved both points I was trying to make. @#$%!
Here’s one of their videos. They take a break from 2:31 to 2:42. THEY ARE ON BREAK FOR 1/24 OF THE SONG!
I’ll never give up hope! NEVER! The view count was at 5991 when I got the link, if it’s > 5992 later tonight then my life has meaning.

[staplermofo]

Greetings from the mofo. The staplermofo. The warrior of paper binding. The athravan of staple-an.

I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my banhammer. Look at what remains, what you gallant skants. Why? Because you are selfish. You horde your votes, you will not listen to reason. You plan to take your votes out of the wasteland. What a puny plan. Look around you, this is the valley of death.
No more games! We are here for a purpose! We come with an offer.

Baaan! Ban them all! Baaaan! Baaaan!

Be still my dog of moderating. I understand your pain. We’ve all lost votes on pictures we loved. But we do it my way. We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The votes will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.

There has been too much bannination, too much butthurts. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Leave your votes, the thread, the whole contest. I will give you safe passage on the internets. Just walk away, and there will be an end to the horror.

[staplermofo]

Yeah, looking back, there are more blatant dual/multi color shots. Should we remove them or let the voters decide?

Leave them, but take their votes and split them among the rule-followers. Oh, and we let the violators battle in the photodome, and whoever is the last standing gets his or her own votes back.

[staplermofo]

+1

[staplermofo]

That’s way more dramatic than I expected.
You should make a site comparing “mmmyeh, this’ll work” photography with “I LIVE FOR THIS! GRAWR!” photography.

[staplermofo]

It’s crazy, but the ipad’s camera compares very well to early D-SLRs with the fanciest of lenses. SACD is never going to catch on because even most recording artists don’t care that much about sound quality. “We sound better on your headphones than we do live, what more do you want?” I’ve tried to make other people care, but you can’t talk people into having emotions or principles they don’t have. Maybe the ipad’s camera is better than most people can see, or care to see. I’ve sure spent more on glass for my camera than I have on all my polycarbonate internet glasses.

Hey, somebody take their camera in to their optometrist, I want to know what a modern fancy camera’s vision is. I bet it’s way better than 20/5 or whatever.
So yeah, it’s your fault for trying to out-vision GOD! Put down you bow and get off the tower of Babel!

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