[staplermofo]

Good thing Chicago just got its handgun ban repealed.
*shoots LeicaLens, plunders corpse, staples a paper to his lapel, rides off into the sunrise*

[staplermofo]

staplermofo, I have no idea how you managed to link goatse with Tanaka Reina, but good job anyway.

My basic logic was, since goatse is an old friend to everyone on the internet now, it needed an update to remind people of the horror it once was, so I thought a jackass that went into a tattoo parlor with a crayon drawing of a mediocre pop star and convinced someone to stab the crayon into his forearm, then flew to France, stalked her, met her AND GOT HER ENTHUSIASTIC APPROVAL FOR ALL OF THIS; I thought that was horrific enough to remind people. The guy’s had the tattoo for over a year! He’s never learned enough Japanese to see her in Japan or been emotionally stable enough to tag along with the other foreign fans! I mean, the Kamei Eri tattoo guy can at least tell people 10 years from now “Uh, yeah, it’s the symbol for uh… love and uh… stuff.. because I… was very young, drunk and stupid”.
And on top of all that, that loser gets a whole blog post and after all I’ve done for her I’ve never gotten so much as a radio mention! Sorry to threadjack like this, but I had to talk to someone about it, but if I tell my therapist she’d be obligated to inform authorities and I’m never going back! NEVER! *sob sob sob sob sob*

[staplermofo]

Yes, ew.

Although I’m totally going to refer to the size of bodily orifices with apertures from now on. Just to set a standard, goatse is f/0.7.
ex: “You should have seen that sandwich, I had to open to like f/1.4 to take a bite.” or “Dude man, no way. All the amyl poppers in the world couldn’t get me wider than f/11.”

(editor’s note: the “ew” is about the birthing comments)

[staplermofo]

Lensbaby 2.0, it was on slickdeals.

[staplermofo]

Thanks.

[staplermofo]

You’re typing it out in the lil box then clicking “submit” right?

[staplermofo]

Could someone post on my behalf today?
http://morethanstaplers.com/farktography/rain1.jpg
http://morethanstaplers.com/farktography/rain2.jpg
http://morethanstaplers.com/farktography/rain3.jpg
http://morethanstaplers.com/farktography/rain4.jpg
(omit whichever one you think sucks the most, I trust you)

[staplermofo]

Get those cameras out of the closets and into the streets!
We’re here! We’re Queer! Get used to …. being told to stand or recline uncomfortably and be moved around a couple feet in every direction because the lighting is kinda tricky here and you have such a pale complexion I’d like to get some yellower light on you and warm you up a bit but it’s hard to do that without making Bob look unflatteringly bucolic and ruddy too, and he’s definitely urban rust-belt and guys just hold on a minute and let me relay your lapel, you’ve got it bunched up on your chest and, hold on honey, just hold try to tense your core and release like I showed you back at the apartment, I want your blood flowing but your limbs lithe, and try not to move your back, if the lapel’s not flat it’s not flat then it doesn’t glow that woolen glow that’s essential for the contrast between you to really come though, and crappolla!, the sun is a little too low for this to work, could you guys just hold on while I get some reflectors I think if I put Bob in the shadows from the setting sun in there with those I-beams and just get the reflectors set up to make you glow all over this could really be magical so just stay here, hold your arms and legs out so you don’t wrinkle the clothes or muss your hair and I’ll be right back getting those reflectors set up, get that shot and then if La Ferrara is still open pop over there for some those scrumptious millefoglies James is always on about. … .. You guys are beautiful, you’re dear, thank you so much, but I’m just not getting this to work at all and I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve been talking and trying to sort things out and it just never works and I feel so alone, and I love you, I really do, but we’re just not the same and I don’t have anyone else like me, and I know you guys understand, and that makes me glad, it really does, but alone that’s just not enough. Maybe I want too much. Maybe I’m a selfish fool to leave behind good people like you, but I think I’m ready to take that wild gamble and move on. I’ve had enough of this Nikon life, I’m shooting Canon now! No more gaffer tape on the logos! No more painting my lenses black! I’m going to shine, like an 400mm f/2.8L in the sun, bright, white and proud! This tripod is my Mount Tabor! BEHOLD!

[staplermofo]

It’s nice, but I can’t shake the disappointment of not seeing photos of an attention whore named Rose (I assumed her name was R?s? du Busti?r, mild-mannered French maid by profession, AW by internet. I imagined your life progressing from Mr. Belvedere style class and cultural misunderstandings to a 5th anviled stapler for what she calls “L’Agrafage Douloureuse froufrous de jouissance” in amusing sitcom style until I noticed your name and it all came shattering apart).

[staplermofo]

http://www.adorama.com/alc/article/8067

It’s an old article, so ignore the part about removing the onion from your camera strap.

[staplermofo]

*removes caradoc from “to mug” list*

[staplermofo]

Full resolution sample images or it didn’t happen.

[staplermofo]

Nifty! Expensive but not hideously. Now if they would duplicate the Polaroid iZone film and 35mm instant slide film.

Really.
I don’t know how they expect us to decorate corpses without it.

[staplermofo]

I have both too. I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: You can unscrew these lens.

The front element of the Peleng just unscrews. You’ll be wiping it off one day (because the cap is ridiculous) and you’ll notice the front element wiggle. SCREW IT BACK RIGHT THEN AND THERE! It really will just fall off. The internal lens elements will then pour right out. According to my research, this will happen in 200% of the lenses.
(I have one, it happened twice. Don’t make me throw gibberish in SPSS. SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FABRICATE DATA ON THIS! DON’T TEMPT ME! I WILL THROW LOWER AND UPPER CASE GREEK LETTERS ALL OVER THIS MOFOING BBS!)

The Zenitar just unscrews into two lens halves with the comforting protection of metal on the edges. It’s really only a problem when I try to share its adapter. Stupid screw mounts. There have been a couple times where I was just smugly spinning the lens off the camera when, hey, this is only half! GOD DAMN IT!

[staplermofo]

*pulls off ravnostic‘s mask to reveal… *

Billy Herrington! I should have known.

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