10-26-11 – Graves 3: Return of the Land of the Dead

Gambitsgirl, I really like the shots and the story. My mom passed away about 18 months ago, this contest was the first time I’ve been to a cemetery since the funeral. It was difficult for me too.

I’ve been to about 10 funerals (ALS community is small and close knit) but this was different. I hope you found some peace out there also.

gg

My high school band teacher had ALS. She was pretty young when diagnosed my senior year, and her ALS was unfortunately very quickly deteriorating. She struggled a lot, but kept a positive outlook. I came back for graduation after finishing up my freshman year in college, and it was hard to see how far the ALS has progressed. I would not wish that kind of suffering and death on my worst enemy. I’m so sorry ALS got your husband.

For my part, death has been part of my life since I was very young. It might explain my morbid fascination with cemeteries. I like to wander through reading names, dates, ages, honoring the memory of people long ago forgotten. The rows upon rows of baby and child headstones get me every time, though. Nothing puts the past’s child and infant mortality rate into perspective like a trip through a cemetery. One family in a local cemetery lost 10 or 11 children at all ages from infant through teenagers. I can’t imagine…I don’t want to.

We had 4.5 years with him. The kids were 3 & 5 when he was diagnosed. It was dark but we made the best of it. It is true – no one deserves it.

I noticed the same thing. Most of my shots were of child graves. Put my loss in perspective. If it had been one of my kids I don’t think I would make it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gambitsgirl/6284626466/in/set-72157627861382357

/ok off to bed. politically correct fall party as room mom tomorrow :-/ thank y’all so much for the welcome.

Gambitsgirl, thanks for sharing your story and sense of humor.

While I’m here, would some kind soul please enable voting on my first two entries? Thanks awfully.

How long before it’s open to us hoi polloi?

Us liters get to join in at midnight Farkistan time, bandy.

I’m with U-Man in that I’ve yet to lose anyone close to me. My maternal grandparents are still with us and recently celebrated their 85th (hers) & 90th (his) birthdays, so I know it’s coming sooner than later, but I don’t like to think about it.

I do have a close friend who lost his wife in her late 30’s to cancer a few years ago, and I can relate a story of his use of humor to alleviate grief. She was cremated and when he went to pick up her ashes, he said to the staff there that he remembered her being much taller. The way he described it, the look on their faces was pretty much this: 😯

My B is from a major local cemetery. When I was trying to get my wife to help me decide between that and the Funerary Monument of Pope Alexander VII. When we were fist looking at it in Flickr’s lightbox (black background) the choice was much tougher than when we looked at it with the traditional white background, the choice became only slightly easier.

My first shot is from the town I teach college in. That gravestone (Frank Hodge) is really cool, and set among a whole lotta local veterans.

The other 2 are from my Italy trip (obviously).

I have a bunch of other shots, including a number of kids’ graves. I never even considered whether or not the childrens’ graves would be controversial.

I deliberately avoided the dead baby grave stones. There are at least two next door, one that just says infant on one side with specific dates on the other side, and the other says infant daughter, 4 days old. Kind of creeps me out if I think too much about it that we live right THERE next to them. I hope they don’t mind me coming over to take pictures every now and then. I do my best to be respectful.

My photo that didn’t make my cut is from the Schofield Barracks post cemetery. There are a lot of infant graves there, but thankfully their numbers get fewer and further between as time goes on. Thankfully the childhood mortality rate in the US is as close to zero as possible.

I don’t want to be a nag, but just letting you know the link has not been greenlit yet.

Sorry if this is old news.