[staplermofo]

I was really eager to show off my hand-brake and reverse doughnut skills in a snowy parking lot, but nooooooooooooo. Unseasonably clement weather.
Chicago, baby, you know I love you, why you got’sta hurt me so bad?

[staplermofo]

I did get the 85mm f/1.4. It’s pretty awesome.

9 words… 1/111 of the way there.

[staplermofo]

By any chance, did you get the 85mm or 800mm?

[staplermofo]

*starts planting trees, constructing gingerbread optics to lure naughty, wayward farktographers*

[staplermofo]

Psh, sugar is cheap, I’ll just make my own damn lens.
There are tons of lens grinding guides out there too, and since sugar is softer than glass, CAKEWALK!

[staplermofo]

A long long time ago, idle_hands gave me this advice:
“you have to act a bit gormless and helpless, and girlish…” and
“hah, never underestimate the g-g-gormless factor!”

Saying this done wonders for me too:

“Hey, I’m studying photography and this week I have to ____. Would you mind if___”

If you don’t know where to go, try to the Bean in Chicago. Tons of mofos are there all the time loitering about, waiting for friends who are doing more interesting things, trying to experience stuff. They’re friendly and open as only insufferable, slow-walking tourists can be. Elephant and Castle is just a few blocks from there, nice beer selection, (try the pub onion soup or the curry and chips) then it’s just a half block to red, brown, etc line and you’ll be home in like 45 minutes.It might take longer if you don’t live in Chicago.

[staplermofo]

I was going to try to recreate the Boxer Rebellion as a 3-panel comic with my three entries, but that was over-ambitious. I tried the Herero genocide, still too ambitious. Then I was going to try to have apples perform a blood eagle on an orange with the sections being the lungs, still too ambitious. So far I’ve woken up. It’s a pretty good start.

[staplermofo]

Hey guys, that was just a hypothetical situation. Guys? Anybody?

*watches tumbleweed roll past*

Noooo! Tumbly! Not you too! Come back!

*sob sob sob*

[staplermofo]

I’ve been shocked by the electric fence before. This should be nothing new.

Let me guess, this is how it happened.

[staplermofo]

I’m scared of people O_O

You know, they’re just as scared of you as you are of them.

Possibly even more scared if you know, you take a little GHB to calm yourself down, a little adderall to get your confidence and energy up then some jackass starts in on you, like managing your own body chemistry is a crime, so maybe you overreact a little, maybe talk too loud, punch a wall or whatever. Fail to get your point across. Next thing you know everyone starts freaking out, getting involved when they didn’t see what happened, and they take his side. And you try to manage, sure, but nothing has kicked in yet and this is beyond what most people could take, and boom, you end up getting 9 months to appreciate the penal disparity between assault and battery. Next year you’re back out taking classes, trying to meet people, and your asshole parole officer talks to your teacher where everyone can see, and she’s uptight and is giving you the odd look from then on, so you know everyone in your class is thinking you’re some kind of freak, and now nobody is on your side. Sure, they patronize you with “oh, hey man, you’re looking better” or “hey it’s great what you’re doing for yourself, getting things together like this” and you know damn well they’re just trying to get away without making you freak out again, and they expect you to trust them and be friends when all they do is lie to you and mock you behind your back, and that stuff weighs on you, you don’t shake that off. That story is told through all of you, people can see it in you sinew. Boom, now you’re the scary loner.

But that probably won’t happen. I’m sure things will work out great.

[staplermofo]

It think this would be an excellent idea for a contest, though the expense and time, even at Kinko’s rates, would be prohibitive to a lot of folks. Perhaps the farktography community could stage a *special event*? Not a contest, but a showcase?

It’s around $10 to get a 12×18 print to your door from artscow.com
If you’re a regular and can’t afford that, I’ll paypal you the $10.

And a nice little showcase website would be nice. We should make one.

[staplermofo]

I say ebay all the way on this.
Get a no-name ball head with preposterous specs (supports up to 1500 kg!), then get some cheap legs. As I always say, good head is more important than nice legs.
You might still be able to use your old legs if you just want something to hold the head level.

[staplermofo]

Is artificial granite ok? It’s mostly natural stone.

[staplermofo]

I’m shocked no one spoofed the straight out of Compton cover, or had something flying out of a camera.

[staplermofo]

Anyone want a mod to post a totally black (or white, to match Fark) photo (with voting enabled) in solidarity?

[Author]

Posts